Imagine that you open a meeting by saying, "We need
to talk about the budget."
And someone says, "I named my dog Budget because
he's too big."
After the laughter subsides, you wonder why anyone would
make such a silly remark in your meeting.
And this leads to a larger question: Why would anyone
misbehave in a meeting? Taken to the extreme, misbehavior can ruin a meeting.
That wastes everyone's time and squanders the opportunity to produce useful
results.
Here are some possibilities.
1) They're uninformed
Many people do not know how to plan, conduct, or
participate in a meeting.
They think that gathering people in a conference room
represents holding a meeting. They believe that planning is unnecessary because
they expect everyone to arrive with a common agenda. They think that hosting a
discussion actually leads to useful results. These well-meaning attempts at
holding a meeting are so counterproductive that they can appear to be
misbehavior. In addition, a bad meeting irritates others, causing them to
retaliate with misbehavior.
Better: Show people how to plan and conduct meetings.
Teach them how to use process tools that help people make methodical progress
toward results.
Schedule a workshop that shows people how to plan and
lead meetings. (Call me to talk about my outstanding workshop.)
2) They're bored.
Many meetings occur with a few people talking while the
rest watch. When this happens, the quiet participants entertain themselves by
daydreaming, starting side conversations, or working on other tasks (such as
preparing lists of things to do once the meeting finally ends). People with
extensive experience in bad meetings have learned how to feign credible
interest while being mentally absent.
Better: Plan activities that involve everyone. Avoid
relying on discussion for your meeting because it allows the more vocal
attendees to dominate.
3) They're mad.
People can be mad for many reasons, such as they feel
trapped in an unplanned meeting or they disagree with the results being
obtained. They could also feel mad if others are preventing them from participating.
People know that a meeting without an agenda will waste
their time, and they resent this. For example, a man once told me that he and
his friends would "sandbag" any meeting that was called without an
agenda. They made inappropriate comments, introduced distracting
considerations, and asked pointless questions. Of course, they acted with such
professional sincerity that it seemed that they were being productive instead
of disruptive.
Better: Always prepare an agenda. Always contact key
participants before the meeting to explain their role and to check if they are
prepared for the meeting.
4) They disagree
Meetings are an excellent activity to resolve
disagreements. However, if people disagree with the issue, the process, or the
results AND are unable to exert influence, they will rebel. This rebellion will
appear as misbehavior in the meeting or (worse) sabotage after the meeting.
Better: Use process tools in the meeting that involve all
of the participants. Always contact key participants before holding a meeting
on a controversial issue. Use these conversations to listen to their views,
explain the goals for the meeting, and promote your intent for a fair
resolution. Make sure that you seek a "Both/And" result instead of an
"Either/Or" result so that everyone gets what they need.
5) They misunderstand
Sometimes people misunderstand expectations. For example,
an executive was surprised by the negative comments, ridicule, and hostility
that occurred during his first staff meeting with a new group. After some
investigation, he learned that his predecessor openly criticized and ridiculed
people.
Thus, this was the behavior that the staff had learned to
emulate. The executive fixed this by a) stating new expectations, b) coaching
key offenders, and c) setting an example of respectful conduct.
Better: Cultural management is a primary leadership
responsibility.
Demonstrate the type of behavior that you want for
productive meetings and provide private corrective feedback to those who
misbehave.
An effective meeting is a team activity conducted by a
fair process that involves everyone. People respect this approach and will make
positive contributions because they know that such a meeting represents a good
use of their time.
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Your Bio: IAF Certified Professional Facilitator and
author Steve Kaye works with leaders who want to hold effective meetings. His
innovative workshops have informed and inspired people nationwide. His
facilitation produces results that people will support. Sign up for his free
newsletter at http://www.stevekaye.com.
Call 714-528-1300 or visit his web site for over 100 pages of valuable ideas.
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